At the state I’m in with red tape and all kinds of other types of things that have tied me up into knots, I admit: AmeriCorps was a mistake for me.
I cannot wait until I have sprung loose from this ten month hell.
Last night I was all ready to sit down at a table to help guests at the gallery purchase paintings, when my chair was taken away by one of the office, young whipper snappers, who said it didn’t look nice to have a chair at the table inside the gallery.
My legs and feet are in pain and after the night was over, I could hardly walk to my car after standing for nearly 5 hours. I liked the event, however. But I have had to rest all day today and I’m still in pain.
Then this morning, after deciding to take one whole day just to get my paper work ready to receive the educational award for the Cambodian experience, I’m dizzy and worn out trying to figure it all out. I’m the guy in the circus who spins plates, trying to get them all spinning at the same time, but the first one falls off before the last one gets to spin. I finally put my head down and cried.
I do not like myself when I feel sorry for myself and when I feel defeated, and when I’m not sharing something positive. But I’m human, too. (I think)
And…tomorrow is another day of work. I’ll be helping families have a good time on Easter Sunday, when I don’t get to spend my time with my family.
Sorry, but I am feeling sorry for myself…please forgive.